#trying to work with this video was a struggle

[marscantread7]

Idk if anyone's done this yet, but I'm thinking abt Camgirl!reader x Cameraman!Xavier-- MDNI

Basically, u started this as a way to pay for school. U were struggling to find a job, and were really desperate, so u js did what u could. It started off w/ ur phone camera and really poor sound quality as u didn't have a mic and ur headphones were really cheap, so their mic js wouldn't make the cut.

U truly didn't expect the video of u fucking urself on some cheap dildo to go viral... like, what...? The comments weren't too specific either. Some people really liked ur moans, others liked how u talked urself through it, a lot of people commented on how sensitive u were and they really liked it. U truly don't know what boosted it, but hey! Ur bank account wasn't complaining.

U were able to get a really nice camera and a mic after that. And a much better sex toy collection. U turned ur spare bedroom into a streaming/recording room bc that's another thing. U were popular enough to do livestreams now, yay! Things were going so well for u, it was great.

Eventually, u got bored of it. I mean, it was fun, u tried new things and even got to do a few collabs w/ some friends u made in the community. That really boosted ur popularity too. And now u were one of the biggest names in the industry, it was really nice... but u wish ur content was more... interactive. More creative... and that's when u decided to do a deep dive on cameramen.

U have seen streams w/ cameramen, where they played the pov of the viewer, and u really wanted that. After 2 weeks of doing countless interviews and research, u found the perfect match. He wasn't too outgoing, very shy, but u saw his work. The camera work was fucking beautiful. His editing brought tears to ur eyes, and it was js so immersive. His way of storytelling was js so inspiring.

U guys got along well. His name was Xavier, and u guys actually went to the same university. He was a film major compared to ur Comp Sci major, so it makes sense why u guys never ran into e/o. He's taken up small roles as a director, and said he wants to be a big name in the industry one day, but this would be a nice opportunity to really test out his skills.

It started out simple. U guys would come up w/ stories together, test out how it would work, and then execute it. It was a process, but u guys worked really well together.

It took a while for u guys to actually get physical w/ e/o though. The povs first started off w/ no physical interaction with e/o. Xavier would js talk and command u. U would js caption the videos as, "Angry bf commands u as u ride dildo" "Mean professor disciplines student w/ remote controlled vibrator" all that corny shit. It worked though. Ur viewers loved it, and these types of videos actually seemed to bring in a new audience.

It wasn't until one day, when u guys were coming up w/ the next storyline, Xavier shyly brought up u riding his shoe or thigh for a video. U were confused bc u guys have never been physical, and u were fine w/ that, but why the sudden interest? He quickly stuttered out that he thinks u guys should try smth new and more physically interactive to really immerse the viewers. Js no actual sex, and u readily agreed.

And that's how ur newest, and most recent content started. U never intended to make this a full time job, but it seems that's what happened. When u told this to Xavier, u expressed that u were fine w/ finding a new cameraman bc u knew this wasn't a lifelong commitment for him, but he said he didn't mind this being a full time job. U pay him well enough, probably more than u should, and he really enjoys working w/ u. From there, u guys became more than js coworkers.

U started to meet up outside of planning different videos, getting lunch together, going to museums together. U guys started to casually text and call, it was nice. Really nice. U found urself starting to really enjoy his company, truly. He was nice, sweet, understanding, and caring. He was so smart too, sometimes u couldn't help but feel like u were holding him back.

Imagine ur shock when one day, he shows up to ur place unannounced. Hm? U guys didn't have any plans for videos today, weird. Js as u open the door, he slams into u, capturing ur lips in a searing kiss, confessing to u immediately after. He's in love w/ u, and he's always been in love w/ u, and he loves being w/ u, and he loves working w/ u, he's glad to have met u all those years ago, and grow w/ u, and he really wants to be more than coworkers and friends. Wow! What a lot...

If I was evil, I'd make this angsty, however I'm not evil and I hate angst, so yippee! U accept his feelings and tell him u feel the same. Which leads into yet again, another change in ur content.

Ur videos r really interactive now. Sucking on Xavier's thumb as he fucks into u, muttering abt how ur such a good girl and he loves fucking u. Or ur on all fours as Xavier fingers u, telling u to accept ur punishment for being such a bad, puppy (he really loved the puppy x master roleplay... FREAK🫵🏾). Ur viewers loved it, and u shot up to the number one camgirl. Ur solo live streams now became duos, Xavier keeping his face out of frame as he touched u to completion, fucking a dildo in and out of u, or js teasing ur clit as u came over and over again, covering his long fingers in ur slick and cum.

U guys really made a great team, eventually moving in together and announcing ur relationship, hoping that would lessen the confessions in ur inbox. Xavier still chose to keep his identity a secret to the world, but evb loved him regardless. "The camerman w/ the soft voice and big dick." is how ur followers constantly described him. It was hilarious to u.

Idk how to end this, so js pretend it's a really good conclusion and cheer.

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Uhm, happy birthday or smth idk. Js eat ur food man. Tried to do more fluff than smut and more story than smut, blah blah cutesy lovey dovey yadda yadda. I'll write it out fully one of these days, I'm tryna figure out what to cook up for V-day. Hope evb enjoys though.

@deadbydad-talks-ships @scarasdarling tag cause u guys commented.

[somespicycheese]

Interesting to see that my parents weren't the only ones who drafted a contract with their kids, though in the case of me and my brothers it was in regards to when we could use screens (TV, computer, other video game stuff) for non-academic purposes during the week (which ended up being weekends and Wednesdays bc those were half-days at our school for whatever reason).

But like... I remember all that perfectly. When most other things from my childhood I struggle to remember. Because it's something that was relevant for a large part of my life and that, while a rule I wasn't always a fan of and would try to get around sometimes, was nevertheless one I hadn't just agreed to but helped to create with my parents, compromise included.

Same thing with explaining why we couldn't do X or get Y or whatever. And not resorting to "because I say so," and taking the time to explain why. And on the occasions where we acted out in public my mom wouldn't yell at us because that would be equally disruptive. She would get up close and quietly but sternly tell us to stop (with a bit of face grabbing to ensure our attention but never to the point of pain). And it was always effective because quiet but stern with the implication of more severe punishment if our bad behavior continued was scary enough to make us stop.

They were always treating us like equals, and I think that's the key element here. When you recognize that children have rights and autonomy, the way you work with them fundamentally changes. Because it's not a kid you're hitting or belittling, it's a person.

I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.

[crow-quilll]

Hello :) i really like ur writing style and wanted to know your writing tips!

Like, how do you get a clean and nice pace? Or how to write intense scenes? Or what words to choose? Etc

I thank you graciously for sharing your works 🙏🙏

HELLO SLEEPY!! I meant to respond to this way earlier but stuff got in the way -- however I have arrived!!

Let's dig in:

In terms of pacing, it is always helpful to have a clear outline of every event that will happen - I write all of mine in a notes app, write down each key event and how the chapter will progress. I think that way I get a good idea of what sections should be longer, which are more important and need more detail, and which should be intentionally fast to amp up pressure. Ofc it depends on what you're writing! I've always written these sorts of angsty hurt/comfort fics, so I've just had a lot of practice with them. I can assure you that I'd struggle with a slow pace slice-of-life au in any fandom.

Writing intense scenes mostly comes with practice, I've had 10 long years of experience haha! But there are some things that I've learned to do for those scenes:

Positioning is important, set it up early. You want your readers to know exactly where your characters are so they aren't confused which will slow down how they read the scene. You want them following the speed of the scene you've set.

Shortening your sentences and descriptions will make your scene more intense because your reader feels like they are struggling to keep up with it. It also makes them predict a breaking point - a point in the sentence structure where it reaches a limit and either stops completely or slows back down. So they hang on to every word, waiting for that drop.

Metaphors and imagery are great for describing emotional or physical pain - but I try not to overdo it, especially in "Nobody's Soldier" when those scenes are pretty lengthy. I try to keep those scenes feeling intense and quick because the stakes are supposed to feel high for Gi-hun - and by extension, for the readers.

As for word choice, that really depends on your style and where you find your inspiration from! Like I said, I've primarily written hurt/comfort and whump fics, so my style developed to be very physical: I always think about the facial expressions of the characters, the way their body reacts to stimuli, where they are standing and how they stand, etc. That comes from working on how to describe reactions to pain, and they always tell you to show it instead of telling it: "he winced/he flinched" rather than "it hurt him".

A lot of my style just comes from the things I take inspiration from. Funnily enough, I don't read fics or books for fun because I read so much for university in my history/english program. So I find my inspiration in the historical sources and literature I read. I think a good example I can give is from a poem by Wilfred Owen, an English poet who fought in WWI, called Dulce et Decorum est, which uses very visceral language (ie. "His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;/ If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood/ Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs..."). I'm sure you can some similarity between his descriptions and my own -- albeit, mine are far less sophisticated than his. But I still try to emulate how grotesquely he describes the human body, as well as the sharp rhythm of certain lines like "sick of sin." ANYWAYS thats enough university talk that i'm sure sounds boring haha. I also find inspiration in video games, in TV shows, in everything. The world around us is composed of sentences waiting to be written, you just have to look for them and put pen to paper :))

One last tip I can give is to just write what you enjoy! I know ao3 can be disheartening if your work doesn't get a lot of love, but honestly as long as you are having fun, it is well worth it. I have written for dead fandoms in the past - and in fact, I have more often written for dead fandoms than for popular ones. I'm somehow always late to the party, except this time ofc with Squid Game.

Anyways, I think that is all I have for now!! If you have any further questions, please ask away. I'm so flattered to have been asked about something like this, thank you to coming for me and reading what I write <3 <3

[zeondraws]

Weh I slept badly, I think the negative memories I have towards the swtd server owner trigger me somehow. Or like my therapist put it when I talked about my toxic coworker "it re-traumatises me". So I struggled to fall asleep at all. I think I'll talk about these memories one more time before I shall move on. It makes no sense to keep myself stressed thinking about it.

But I find it very important to say that, don't harass anyone mentioned here.

If internet drama triggers you, please don't continue reading this post.

When I first joined the server it was still kinda new. I think the only recent discovery we've had was where Muir and Innes would lay near the end of the game. I still remember seeing the server owner talk about it with people.

I had a lot of fun staying there and learned a ton of new things. Which I'll try to apply for future stuff.

But the main thing was that me, the server owner and their friend would talk a bunch about recent discoveries. At one point I would start learning fmodel because I really wanted to gain access to the voicelines and other things. It was when I worked on my Muir video.

They would kinda help me with fmodel but like.. their help on some problems I faced with the program weren't too helpful because often I got answers I already knew. We found complex ways to manually extract the raw files and convert those into wem and then into wav. But that process took too long so I kept tinkering. I think I even said at the end if their friend used fmodel besides me, we would've find solutions quicker.

I still remember the server owner said how they can look through the soundfiles very quickly and apparently looked through 15000 of them. However I had the slight suspicion they won't share the converted files afterwards. I think their friend wanted to show me something but the owner stopped them?

I did figure out how to convert files with fmodel and was finally able to listen to all the soundfiles. I discovered sooo many interesting things, unused lines from Muir, scenes and other unused bits hidden in other folders. I shared my findings on the server. I still remember compiling the soundfiles of the infected crewmates back in October. Discussing the findings and all.

So I would continue to share my findings, I'd ask devs a bunch of questions that I shared on here as well. Even at gamescom I tried asking questions people had on the discord. It was a stressful day because I accidentally got out of the business area and ran around for half an hour to be let back in.

Eventually I would notice weird things the server owner would do, they said they knew where Muir transformed, where the Derrick phone is or some other info of Muir they wouldn't share. Mainly because it's from their projects that they want to keep secret. I tried to be understanding but after a while I got annoyed because I would always share my findings with the community, specifically helped them a ton to figure out Muir's lore for their projects. So them not telling me what they found was weird.

Also because they had asked me a bunch of times to show them something ingame, like we'd hop in vc because they wanted to have screenshots and everything from the Muir level. Afterwards they started saying "I knew where he transformed!" and wouldn't tell. And I pretty much felt used afterwards.

It took me ages to realise they don't own the game at all, even in the last confrontation I did they talked about having other PCs and even after my apology they wouldn't mention what PCs they meant (Do they really own multiple PCs? Or do they mean PCs from friends, Im still confused). I still don't understand if they ever played the game or only watched playthroughs or streams in vc to get their info they needed. And I was their tool to get said info. My main suspicion comes because I swear I saw them talk about seeing the "Davros bug" in their playthrough. Which confused me since that Davros thing only occurs in a game version that isn't public. And they said how they played the game in the first week it was out, often finding it important to mention that they were one of the first people who knew about the game.

They once said how they wanted to work on the swtd wiki, or at least their friend did tiny edits to add some of my discoveries. But only recently I'd learn they won't work on the wiki because they apparently have better projects to work on. I think they wanted to make a new wiki with their friend (their friend knows how to code) because people ranted how bad the info is on the current wiki. (Which is something I'm currently trying to fix)

They didn't even stop people who started vandalising said wiki, they laughed and said how they aren't responsible for what people are doing. And folks shared what edits they made. I am not really mad at the others, tho people on the wiki were very pissed. However I find it bad that the server owner doesn't take responsibility to tell people to stop. Instead it felt more encouraging to vandalise. I think I didn't say much either, an error on my part..

One of the people who edits the wiki got banned from the server. Like what I saw was them saying "ayo" then getting jumped by everyone before being thrown out of the server. I was extremely confused because I didn't think the word would be that sexual? People apparently thought it was. I know I frequently used that word with friends but the server I moderate doesn't ban people for THIS word...

A second person that got banned didn't even have enough space to talk before the owner would open a private thread with me and others talking about if said person should stay. I tried to talk with the person before they got banned put people started cursing at them too quickly, so ofc the person who was affected would curse back.

The owners friend is the most conflicting part because they seemed helpful and kind but I slowly started to get a feeling they were hiding something. Stating their dislike for a certain bigger community for X and Y reasons. But I found what they said hypocritical since I saw similar things in the swtd community. And I don't want to judge another community that I barely know.

But I still felt confused how they wanted to help me but the owner would try to stop them from doing so at times? I don't fully remember anymore.

The final straw before I left was when they shared their dislike towards datamining. Me and another dataminer felt very annoyed about it and tried to say something. They didn't reply back initially. Which made me so angry that I wrote a longer message in one of the chats stating my anger. I felt attacked that they thought us sharing our findings wasn't good, since they said we're handling copyrighted materials. They thought the files had "securements in place" which made them believe the devs didn't want us to datamine. But the securements they mentioned were simply our inability to understand how to use fmodel. Or rather my inability to use the program at the start. The gamefiles are not encrypted and don't need a key to access. It just showed me they didn't have much clue of what they were trying to say.

I think it would make sense if I show screenshots I took, I felt hesitant to keep the screenshots because I really do not want people to harass the server owner. But after seeing a post yesterday regarding the server I feel courage to show my experience. Because I have realised the server owner causes people to leave the fandom... And it makes me feel down to witness this. Community members deserve better and if many people start to feel ignored or start to think they're the enemy it would make sense to properly highlight what's happening. I often feel worried of younger community members who are in the server, but feel intimidated because owner and their friend don't fully know how to make everyone feel at home. Instead, they prefer some people over others, as hollow as that sounds.

This is my initial response after they expressed their view on datamining

Their response was very long as well. I would like to be clear I avoided mentioning their anxiety because I had the suspicion they'd use it as an argument. It's also why I struggled to voice concerns early on, what if they'd use their anxiety to avoid confrontation?

I wanted to talk about it with them in dms to avoid clogging up the public chat, however they told me their dms are closed (they usually didn't have their dms closed towards me, I had talked about random stuff with them in the past) and made a private thread inside the help desk instead.

Even after my apology and even after asking the devs if datamining is OK the server owner still wanted real evidence. I don't understand? They can reach out to the devs if they have concerns about something in the community, or their friend can reach out if they're too anxious. I don't understand how I should gather "real evidence"

The trusted admin was their friend whom I mentioned already. So I felt extra weird. This screenshot is from when they opened the thread.

I didn't take a screenshot of my apology but I kept the message saved somewhere else:

"Hi Owner!

First of all I am very sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday. I have a big issue with sounding very cold or brutal when I'm emotional/upset, which I didn't realise here and will be working on it to avoid this in the future.

I still need to learn how to sound more neutral, because the way I do it right now makes people feel attacked (like you said) rather than open to discuss. But having made this mistake helps me to improve myself.

I wasn't the only one who was upset by your messages yesterday, so I felt a bit conflicted with how I felt, but probably should have properly reread my messages, before sending.

I would reiterate that the X and Y can see what I do, if they'd dislike it, they would intervene asap and not beat around the bush.

None of them say anything to the 3D models being shared privately on reddit either. Even if people openly ask for those models on reddit posts.

To solve this, I simply asked one of the people what their stance is on Datamining and if I am allowed to do it. Or if I should take something down.

I will get some further info next week, but they said it's a grey area and something that happens on every game. As long as I don't sell or release stuff early they see no problem.

X and Y said they are okay with it. But they'll wait for Z's opinion to see if there is something specific I can't post. Aside from common sense stuff like lines of codes, they don't think there is any issue.

Yes She has helped a bunch and offered their help numerous times.

However we went through a way more complicated process to convert these files. If someone like Her used Fmodel alongside me, we could've avoided spending countless hours doing it manually.

In the end I had to sit down and figure the solution out on my own. I may have terribly worded myself but that doesn't devalue the work I did within this group project. (?)

You have indeed, however I was referring to an earlier conversation, where I wanted to show you Fmodel. There you didn't mention that you didn't own the game or asked if it was incompatible. All you said that you were busy and my mind went to assume something else. So after the second attempt to go over it with you, I thought it would make no sense to ask again.

I don't know what you mean with other ways to play. Do you own multiple PCs? I'm confused, sorry.

I too am a very busy person. I have my own projects I work on, this didn't stop me to learn Fmodel, blender, UE5, OBS and Davinci resolve. You telling me that your device can't handle it is more than enough.

I think it's just important for me that my efforts to find all of this stuff isn't forgotten.

I am not trying to use your anxiety against you and didn't even think about it.

And again I am sorry for attacking you, it's my issue of sounding very brutal or cold when I'm upset, as I've said above. I will work on it, but issues like these reappear, so bear with me. I genuinely want to improve, but I can't do it if I don't tackle the issues head on."

I waited over a day their their response, while I waited they laughed and chatted in the public chat like nothing had happened. As if all issues dissappeared. It wasn't until I said I felt ignored, inside the private thread, that they'd reply to me at 5AM with their long reply:

The main thing is, we both had truths in our message, I wasn't entirely wrong nor were they. But this message showed me they weren't interested in a proper conversation. I asked my friends for guidance in this and they told me it's not worth it.

I don't know what my conclusion should be.. I avoid call out posts like a plague because it brings back bad memories from when I was extremely immature. But, seeing people I enjoy hanging out with leaving the community or stopping communication saddens me. I think it's my responsibility to speak out about issues even if many want to avoid conflict.

My therapist said it's important to face conflict if something arises. If you have a weird feeling in your gut, it's always best to talk it out in a normal manner. Otherwise issues pile up.

I spend almost 10 years to fight for my hobbiest, my family disliked what I find interesting. Told me I'll hate my hobbies and saying they want to throw everything out that I collected. But I stayed stubborn. These two people will not stain my love I have for this game. I fought years with family until I was finally able to get my dream job after enduring a toxic work environment for over a year. I made sure that I will not hate my hobby because of a toxic person.

Do not let negative people stain your love for any passions you might have. Protect them at all costs and establish boundaries where they are needed. These people have their own battles to deal with and I feel sorry that they struggle to manage the server. I still remember when people thought I'd be a good mod (I found that very cute, thank you all) but I found it very funny how the server owner avoided to agree with that at all costs. They tried to change the topic by saying another person would be a good mod, but people still sided with me.

Maybe it's a mistake to make this drama surface on tumblr, but I just want everyone to be informed. You all can draw your own conclusions and tell me your honest opinions, I'll read through them. But please do not harass anyone. If you struggle feeling accepted in the server and already left/rejoined it a bunch of times, it's best to listen to the gut feeling and leave.

Find people who appreciate you for whom you are. I know finding the right people takes ages, but I know there are people who will appreciate you. My dms are always open to everyone, my discord is ikarues if anyone wants to chat there. I know I am not perfect and I am a flawed person!!! But I try to see what mistakes I did and try to learn from them.

After all it's important to make mistakes, it will help with personal growth.

I'll leave the post at that, showcasing my raw emotions.

[sandushengshou]

xiao zhan appreciation [86/ ∞]

[gomzdrawfr]

Bam bing bong, summary of my doodles in 2024

[hyohaehyuk]

Between the fact Sam said he could stand hurting Jacob & Jacob having a mental breakdown over having to slits the Sam/Lestat' throat and bc things would be different next season i dont know what is more concerning 😭

sam having the worst day of filming in his career jacob:

Jacob trying to cheering him up by acting silly and giving Sam his prosthetic eye 🥰 I almost sure that Sam did the same for Jacob for Lestat' "death"

I dont know from where this gif come from (i saw it here) but i have a feeling Jacob posted this to make Sam feel better 🤭

Source: TV Guide - Interview With The Vampire Episode 5: Stars Break Down Their Fight Scene | Jacob Anderson, Sam Reid, Interview with the Vampire Cast Diaries episode 5, amc+ Every Midnight Snack | Season 1, Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid’s Reddit AMA answers, Variety - ‘Interview With the Vampire’ Finale: Show Creator, Stars Dissect That ‘Heartbreaking’ Change to Anne Rice’s Book and the Appearance of Armand

[the-stove-is-divorced]

YES! LOVE ranting furiously about a show. Like it pisses me off so much. I can't get enough of it. Everyone should watch.

That's such an interesting point, too, because yeah, that's the entire premise of the idea, no? At least the start? Evil Superman, with bootleg copies of agencies and Leagues and heroes, outright banking on audiences' general knowledge of these to skip out on some important groundwork, world-building wise to me, but don't really take advantage? Like why really explore Evil Superman, son of colonizers, and bootleg Justice League? Even just for comedy purposes, like why not? I haven't seen that video in a while to bring up any specifics (+ I am a diehard Batman fan than Superman) but truly!

Man, you make me wanna rewatch Justice League for those team dynamics and YEAH, stuff like Martians being shapeshifters! That's fun and so COOL! I also just plainly love their dynamics and interactions. Watching some snippets and clips myself, it tickles me how much of Batman's standoffish-ness could be used for Nolan, if they wanted to show team dynamics. I want it so bad. Off topic somewhat, but went down a youtube clip rabbithole and ended up seeing one of my favorite action sequences for animated movies, Madagasar 3's driving scene, and MAN, I wish we got like a fun fight or action scene for Invincible as well. Well aware there's a big diff of genre, general tone, but ONE TT or GoG scene that play off powers and personalities in a fun way would be everything to me. Internally sobbing I'm not an experienced storyboarder/animator to storyboard it myself.

Lazy shipping will forever be the bane of my existence, because I don't care so violently but it'll refuse to be ignored, and LIE to my face about how much these characters MUST be in horribly love, while having the audacity to be boring. Literally get this off my screen. Please go on your gift of jewelry rant by the way, I've already expressed the "get OTHER characters to lazily comment about how these two characters are LOVEBIRDS!" makes me consider abandoning humanity for the woods. JUST WRITE THEM LIKING EACH OTHER. GENUINELY. HAVE A CONNECTION. and for the love of all things entertaining, don't make it BORINGGGGG. But seriously, the fact Mark can't get a DAMN BREATHER, like is Eve a rebound like??? And the refusal to explore their potential and bond makes my ass itch. Like, ethics!!! Superheroism!! Shitty family!!! CHICAGO! Literally the fact they're not in groups like YOU said!

Just have them fly together tbh, like easy short hand of longing looks and excitement together is flying together. Showing off tricks and eventually talking or something.

Mark outright not improving drives me utterly insane. We OPEN with him improving and then nerf him immediately. Throwing my TV. TRULY I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHY EITHER DIDN'T GO FOR THE OTHER HEROES from the START. Eve, you are an experienced hero, unlike Mark, who JUST got SOME training that's clearly strength based, not strategic. Literally just elevating the danger/situation and using characters' flaws could have been so beautiful but NOOOO. Like, have Mark struggle focusing on both protecting AND fighting, (lethal enough to kill the monster, but careful a giant monster doesn't fall on top of the trapped heros for example), or flinging a monster into the ground / getting smacked and the ceiling collapses faster. Now, Eve's gotta deal with a crumbling ceiling AND rescuing them, maybe she's even rusty working with a team! Heck, have Eve direct Mark to rescue instead of fighting, and he struggles not stepping into the fight, or gets distracted by approaching monsters?

ALSO HECK? JUST USE ANOTHER VILLAIN? You're telling me the original GoG didn't have some seriously menacing, intelligent, heavy hitting supervillains who wants to eliminate the newly weak GoG??? The one that even said they're BAD at teamwork?? How has the dismantling of the GoG not created a whole power scramble of villains trying to prove themselves by taking out the NEW GoG???

Also FOR REAL. CAN DEBBIE BE A WHOLE PERSON PLEASE? Like, how is part of the Super Hero Family Drama: The Show, and we don't even know her HOBBIES? WHO IS THIS WOMAN????? How are we on s3 and I still don't know. Utterly insane. Slow the fuck down, I don't care about some stupid mummy curse of the last episode of s2, a weird alternate Eve demanding her teenage crush to confess to her after he thought he was gonna die in a desert, or the Lizard League, but I DO care about who these characters ARE so I can feel more about the stakes!

Invincible (barely resisting to bash my head into the wall in rage) & Invincible (giggling, kicking my feet, gasping in delight) can function in the same breath istg.

That's exactly why I want Cecil as a mentor so fucking badly 'cause it's like quasi Dad/mentor would sacrifice this mf in a heartbeat, like immediately interesting. Plus the dread of a another inevitable betrayal would be chef's kiss! Plus I'm surprised he hasn't tried it like??? This mf never tried the whole "catch more honey with vinegar" approach? Mark's a kid with too much on his shoulders, he is outrageously In-Need-Of-A-Mentor-Shaped. I mean, we're dealing with Viltrumites and potential Omni-Man Junior, I'd want that kid to trust me, believe me, so I'd know if something's off. Keep your potential emotional unstable nuke closer rather than farther and far less irritable, perhaps? Attempting to slowly chip away at a oneshot as we speak tbh. But again, no GDA counselor/therapists to be snitches? Where's the paranoia, invasive plans, here?

No fr, like ???? She has unexplained beef with him and never tells Mark to avoid him, or even a classic "I told you so"???? Like, another setup and we just??? Don't do anything? You already think he's a liar??? Gimme Debbie eyeing the babysitter, trying to check for microphones/cameras more often or something. Do something with this, I BEG.

Also hitting that on the nail here, I was writing a WIP and Mark kills a guy and I'm just kinda scrambling cause on one hand Cecil doesn't want Mark TOO cool with killing he's uncontrollable, but also this is good if Cecil wants Mark to kill people. And I'm just staring at my screen like ?????? Like give me mentor Cecil so I know how he would act for fanfic, for it for me specifically.

Aso insane over the fact Mark's moment of paralleling his Dad doesn't go farther enough for me, like this is the moment for shit to go crazy and it's GOOD enough for me to feel insane but lacking enough for my insanity to triple of what could have been??? I am this close to adding another WIP of just fun what-ifs/scene rewrites for my own sanity! Like, why not have Mark slamming his fist into the ground while he's got the shriek in his ears? Slamming his head in agony just to make it stop? Or even clawing towards Cecil, on the ground, eyes burning with hatred from the pain? I would fucking love a moment of Mark trying (but still failing) to walk, crawl, move, while in pain to ADD to the scene, even if he just stumbled back down and writhed on the floor.

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[horsemeatluvr23]

zedaph!!! coloured pencil n fineliner :D ngl i rly struggled w getting a photo of this one .. i ended up scanning it but i think it washed out a lot of the pencil detail n ended up looking like i deep fried it lmao. u will all just have to trust me when i say this looks better irl

[chimerahyperfix]

You’re looking for something— no, someone, too, aren’t you?

(I can’t comprehend how you understand what’s going on, with your lifeless shell. Craft as you are.)

[colorisbyshe]

i am not returning to this blogs mid-life state of being a topical discourse blog like i won't be constantly posting about AI... just to make it clear

but i do find it distressing that people will twist seeming innocuous arguments to defend ai like 'oh its ableist to be anti-ai'

what the fuck are you talking about? deaf music composers exist. blind painters exist. there are people who draw with colored pencils held between their toes. people who use up all their spoons finishing a crochet project that took them months. people who have thrown water balloons at canvases to depict what it's like to live with physical, mental, and emotional conditions. people whose shaky line work caused by their chronic fatigue actually emphasizes the emotional tension of their work.

maybe this is an issue of what art is valued--maybe you don't value art that is seen as less skillfull, less intentional when made by disabeld artists. maybe you are talking about that being a larger issue but that isn't resolved by just... letting computers do it instead

who are you talking about when you imply that disabled people cannot create art? who are you to devalue the art that disabled people have already made? like?

and then who are we all to say okay if you can't make something, it's okay to just steal from anyone who can do it? what if i told you generative ai also stole from disabled artists? generative ai is used to replace commissioning artists, including artists who use art commissions for income they cannot otherwise make, as disability makes other employment difficult or outright impossible

is that ableism?

like... what structural oppression is happening in opposing generative ai which destroys the environment on a scale no other computer usage reaches? what structural oppression is happening in opposing programs that are made to eliminate EVER paying artists for their labor? what structural oppression is happening in opposing the ACTUAL slave labour used by these generative ai companies?

if we're whipping out terms about structural oppression... generative ai a more likely tool of oppression than opposing it

that's it for the day i'm not gonna argue with people but i would ask you to like... all reflect a bit more on what you are implying when you say opposing generative ai is ableism

[jemmo]

that final scene in this ep of utsukushii kare. it feels like someone just ripped out my gut, slashed it open and trampled over the bloody remains. i want to sob. I want to out loud, fat tears, shaking my body sob. but all im stuck on is hira’s brokenly confused face, kiyoi on top of him grabbing onto his clothes and crying, an absolute tornado of emotion the likes of which he’s never shown, all to hira, all because of hira, and yet hira sits there and it’s like the storm covers him but he’s inside this impenetrable building and not a single drop of rain hits him. he knows it’s raining, he can hear it battering down on the roof, but it’s just rain. he doesn’t understand the full extent, doesn’t know the wind is ripping down trees and lightening is cracking the sky in two. and because he’s inside, he doesn’t need to know, doesn’t care to know, doesn’t want to know. hira will happily stay inside, in his bubble, in his constructed world, and he will be alone, and he will suffer, but that’s alright bc he’s not out there.

it’s like he’s gotten used to the internalized problems he faces, and they stick with him, almost a comfort to him now, in that he’ll see them when they’re not there. the external things that make him worried and anxious now, they’re less so, but hira still is that high school kid, getting picked on for his stutter, that faded into the background. he’s stuck there, and he’s never grown past it, and there’s almost a security in not growing, not changing, even if the thing you’re stuck as is worry and anxiety and invisibility and self doubt and constant internal doubt and criticism and lack of confidence. at least he’s used to it. at least there isn’t anything new to challenge him. and it shows, bc whenever he is challenged, in the sense that something that doesn’t fit he’s established world and role happens, he puts himself down and apologizes, like it’s a practiced, default reaction. that’s how he got through before, it’s how he learned to get through. but now, in the place he finds himself, in the situation and relationship he’s in, this is not a place for that reaction. the people he’s around, kiyoi, he doesn’t need hira to put himself down. he doesn’t need apologies. he wants understanding. and hira just resolutely refused that, said that he not only doesn’t understand hira, but that he doesn’t want to, and he’s not going to attempt to. and I don’t think he could have said anything more heartbreaking to kiyoi. all he has ever wanted was for someone to see him and understand him and love him for it. hira gives him love, unendingly and uncritically. he’s love is irrespective of anything kiyoi does or says or feels. it’s love of an idea, of a theory, of a concept in a pretty shell. it’s not love of the human inside, it can’t be, bc he just said he doesn’t want to understand that person, and without that there can’t be love. you can’t love something you can’t see or comprehend, that there’s a person kiyoi that isn’t the god kiyoi there is in his universe.

and the thing is, I think hira could’ve understood kiyoi, back when he saw a side of kiyoi that no one else did and still showed him love. I think down the line he could’ve gotten to know that person more and liked him, but the thing is, it’s different bc of kiyoi’s feelings. bc kiyoi’s feelings contradict so much what hira believes about himself that he can’t understand him. it’s easier to not know kiyoi that way and stick to his established universe, rather than understand kiyoi fully, bc in that he has to reevaluate everything, about himself and his place in the world and kiyoi’s place too. that is not an easy task. and it’s not that hira wouldn’t, I don’t think. I think there is a feasible future where hira recognizes that choice he can make and chooses kiyoi, chooses to challenge himself out of love for kiyoi and a want to understand him, and maybe even a want to understand and love himself. but bc he doesn’t recognize that as a choice he can make, he can’t do it. and I think that’s what hira needs to face, which I think is more than kiyoi and his feelings and care for hira can manage to accomplish. hira’s mental dissonance is gonna be a work in progress, it’s just a matter or him realizing it and getting to a point of actually working on it. the only thing is, in the meantime, can kiyoi be patient with hira, and the hurt he makes him feel? should he? bc when hira outright refuses to understand, when it feels that rigid and definite, when there’s no feasible future where he will understand, what’s the point? that’s the heartbreak. that hira is constantly worrying about forever, but he just denied a forever with kiyoi. and the problem is him, just not for the reasons he thinks he is. he needs to realize there is no forever with kiyoi the god, bc gods don’t last forever, they’re ephemeral, they’re fleeting. there can be a forever with kiyoi though, the man, the person, the human being, he just needs to step outside, into the storm, and let it soak him. bc when he gets to stand with kiyoi in the rain, he’ll see it’s worth it.

[mariaashby64]

Ya know, I was going to make an amv to this song but when I dragged the intro into my timeline it worked so perfectly, I figured there's no point. I couldn't match this.

[perpetuallyfive]

I so badly want to be writing right now and yet I am obligated to work stupid hours for stupid payment to exchange for goods and services, which may or may not be stupid as well.

[yaminerua]

nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I’m trying to do a basic as fuck sum in my head and my brain is giving me absolutely nothing

not a single gear moving up there. Brain just clocks out when numbers are involved and trying to force it to figure out even the simplest calculations physically feels excruciating and exhausting

meanwhile my dad and my brother will be looking at me like I’m some alien experiment bc how can I be so stupid that I can’t do this shit in my head?

[strawglicksocs]

writing basic things down for BCD and Focus and coming to terms with the fact that I may have to scrap SEVERAL characters .. idk if Edna, Mindy, Cindy, or Mabel serve a purpose to their stories